Eight “Classic” games the PSN didn’t need

Ever since the PlayStation classic, Driver, was released on the European PlayStation Store last year, I’ve been eagerly awaiting its arrival here in North America. This last Thursday I checked the store as I always do, hoping I’d finally be able to download it. Instead, I’m greeted by Jigsaw Madness, a game released in 2002 for $10. That’s right, we’re being treated to value-priced shovelware. So this got me to thinking: This can’t be the worst PlayStation game to download, can it? I’m not just talking games that have aged poorly (looking at you, Hot Shots Golf 2), but games that absolutely no one asked for.


Forget that this game is aged now- this game was aged when it released in 1996. The game is downright atrocious to look at, the soundtrack is annoying at best and godawful at worst, and the gameplay is just bad. Even playing the demo as a 10-year-old on my PSX I thought this game was terrible. If it were up to me, I’d declare this game’s release on PSN as an act of terrorism, but I digress.

Dirt Jockey

So now we move from bad to just plain boring. Like Jigsaw Madness, this was originally released as value software. Unlike Jigsaw Madness, I can’t imagine the gamer that this game would appeal to. You take control of heavy equipment and, well, move dirt. Eventually, you get to build a department store using stuff like cranes, but I can’t imagine anyone getting that far. For all I know, this may be the Ultimate Construction Simulator, but that’s not enticing anyone.


Do you remember how much fun WipEout was? Well, imagine that, but subtract the blistering sense of speed, well-designed tracks, and awesome techno soundtrack (or any soundtrack, for that matter). Ta-da! You’ve got Hi-Octane! It’s not necessarily a terrible game, but it’s definitely as mediocre as a game gets. With WipEout available for the same price it’s hard to recommend this game to anyone.

Ford Racing

The value shovelware beast on PSN is relentless! This game was priced to sell at $10 in 2001, but you definitely got what you paid for. Imagine what Gran Turismo would be like if Kazunori Yamauchi and company had fallen into a coma for 80 percent of its development cycle: ugly cars and tracks, laughable collision detection, and engine sounds that are more reminiscent of a broken lawn mower than any automobile. The comedic value is through the roof, but it’s cheaper to just watch a minute of gameplay on YouTube.

Readers Comments (17)

  1. I’d much prefer them to focus on new games (new sequels to PS1 classics is fine) rather than re-releasing PS1 games.

  2. If they do re-release PSone games, they should at least touch up the games. Maybe improve the graphics a little and make they gameplay slightly less atrocious.

    Then again, are WipEout and Warhawk even necessary when we have WipEout HD and the PS3 remake of Warhawk?

  3. VofEscaflowne March 22, 2010 @ 11:41

    Well I’m guessing it costs them next to nothing and releasing these games must mean that some people are buying them… maybe. But during a time packed with high profile PS3 game releases, I don’t think anyone will be looking forward to having a classic release on the PSN. Better to hold off on such titles when there’s not much on the PS3 side of things.

  4. They missed their chance really when the PS3 was in it’s infancy with very few games. People would’ve snapped up the old games. Too many new ones now to care.

  5. i would love if they hurry up bringing spyro to the eu store. Also a bit of rayman 2 would be awesome. They do give us a lot of crap ps1 games i’ve never heard of before. Gd game driver 😉

  6. Hey, 2Xtreme and Bomberman Party Edition were awesome. I loved going to my friends’ house and playing them.

  7. I agree that most PSOne games in the PSN are just plain junk. Instead, they should release less, better games.

  8. Moocows111111 March 22, 2010 @ 14:01

    PsOne games are ok… They should release the very good ones XD
    Also I love totally love it, if they remade the Metal Gear Solid. I’d probably kill myself for that.

  9. I would love to see Road Rash, I don’t remember if that was on ps1, but I played the hell out of it on Sega, the CD version kicked ass!

  10. lol @ ford, that game is trash!

    but bomberman party was awesome back in the days :\

    that one should indeed stay…..

  11. As you are probably too young to appreciate it, at the time One was about the best game you could get in the genre. ReLoaded? Not nearly as good. With over 320 ps1 titles in their original condition as well as being an adult gamer at the time of the PS1 release, next article you write about PS1 games… give me a hit and I’ll throw you some actual information okay? Later sweetie.

  12. Never heard of One, but there was nothing in that video that made me hate it. All of the video comments were positive, so someone is buying it.

  13. @Alissa – FACT: this article features my opinion.

    In seriousness though, I never thought the game was good to begin with, and has aged terribly ever since.

  14. CodeNameSnake March 23, 2010 @ 13:13

    Id love to see Jet Moto 2!

  15. Didn’t mean to come across as a b*$@&, you do have a point that I wholeheartedly agree with. I don’t understand why they can’t put on games like Mechwarrior, Skullmonkeys, Futurecop L.A.P.D., or G Police.

  16. I totally agree with 2Xtreme. That game blew.

  17. Quick question, I haven’t downloaded any games from PS1 games from PStore, wanted to know are these classic titles region locked?

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