Whether a hyped game fails to deliver or we were looking to satisfy our morbid curiosity by playing a critically panned pile of crap, we’ve all been subjected to playing terrible games. Try as we might, it’s unavoidable.
PS3 owners are subjected to slightly more crappiness, however, with developers opting for mandatory installs of their games to cut down load times and increase overall performance. I don’t know about you, but I can forget that these giant blocks of data even exist long after I’ve gotten rid of the offending software. Next thing I know, there’s only a dozen or so gigabytes left on my 160 GB hard drive and that shit’s not cool.
So as a public service announcement, here are some less-than-stellar games that have robbed PS3s of at least 1 GB of valuable HDD space. Some are more popular than others, but they’re all clutter.
SOCOM: Confrontation – 3.1 GB
The SOCOM series was an absolutely huge deal on the PS2, so it’s easy to see why fans were so excited to hear that it was finally coming to PS3. Just as quickly, though, fans were immediately put on guard when Slant Six were taking the place of Zipper Interactive, original developers of the series.
Unfortunately, those concerns were warranted when the game released and became the lowest-rated entry in the series, including several PSP releases. The biggest gripes were that the game was buggy as hell and had a ridiculous learning curve, and quite frankly it wasn’t much to look at. To top things off, it took the game roughly 20 minutes to install those 3.1 gigs of data, which amount to roughly half the time I played the game before getting tired of its crap.
In fact the absolute best thing about SOCOM’s PS3 release had nothing to do with the game at all – many, including myself, bought the game for the included headset, which is top-notch. Silver linings, people!
Beowulf: The Game – 2.65 GB
The 2007 movie Beowulf was forgettable at best, but it wasn’t terrible, either. Certainly no replacement for the poem, though. I also didn’t mind watching animated Angelina Jolie for a couple of hours, but that’s something else entirely.
Now, we couldn’t have a movie go without a tie-in game, right? So behold! Bolt the phrase “The Game” at the end of the title and just watch the money print itself, right? Well, like so many movie games before it, the answer is a flat-out “NO”.
The good news is that the game is only a few hours long. Actually, that’s terrible news, as they charged a full $60 for it on release. Forget I said anything — just delete the data and move on.
Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days – 1.58 GB
It’s kind of a wonder that this game even exists. After all, the first game was torn apart by critics because, well, it’s not a good game. Somehow everyone, including me, was fooled into thinking that the sequel would be much better. They kept what little worked from the first game, while also adding a pretty neat grainy handcam perspective. Win-win.
Of course not. The game’s characters were as unlikable as ever, and the controls were the same mess they were in the original. The game is also extremely short, giving this weekend rental status at best. Multiplayer is there to lengthen your experience, but when it always devolves into being shot by a teammate at the very last possible instance, then that becomes moot.