I don’t have to tell you anything about the PlayStation Network outage over the last few weeks — most gamers are already tired out by game news when major news outlets like the New York Times and CNN are reporting on it, and this was obviously on a whole other level never before seen in the industry. Yet try as I might, there was nothing I, or anyone else, could do to avoid hearing about it.
Since the PSN was down for what felt like ages, I kept track of EXACTLY how I spent my time while I waited to collect co-op trophies for Portal 2. And much like Portal 2, this is made with only the most super-serious super-science, because I’ve been very, very bored over the last several weeks.
- 20 minutes spent changing passwords that were identical to my PSN login to unique passwords.
- 45 minutes spent the next day trying to remember what those passwords were, because I was cocky enough to think that I could remember them all.
- 1838 minutes spent watching Seasons One through Three of Mad Men on Blu-Ray.
- 3676 minutes spent thinking naughty thoughts about Christina Hendricks.
- 15 minutes spent at the bank applying for a new debit card.
- 8 of those minutes spent explaining to the banker what the hell PSN even is.
- 60 minutes spent telling friends and family that just because I write for this site doesn’t mean that I get privileged information about when PSN will return.
- 120 minutes spent reading the entire timelines of the @Fake_PSN and @KazHiraiSCE parody accounts on Twitter.
- 180 minutes spent imagining Kaz Hirai in an empty conference room, drinking warm beer and listening to “Black Hole Sun” for hours on end.
- 45 minutes being told to play the Gears of War 3 beta on Xbox Live.
- Zero minutes spent playing the Gears of War 3 beta on Xbox Live, because I was too busy with school (FFFFFUUUUUUUU).
- 20 minutes spent comforting myself knowing that, even if the outage spilled into May 17, L.A. Noire didn’t require PSN to fully enjoy.
- 300 minutes spent arguing that Sony’s gross incompetence was a huge reason for the downtime with PlayStation fanboys
- 300 minutes spent arguing that Sony really was honest in their attempt to get PSN up as quickly as possible
- $35 spent on Steam since the PSN outage.
- 674 minutes spent playing said games on Steam.
- 15 minutes typing this list.
- 150 minutes thinking of what to put on it.
Ahem. So, how did you spend the outage? Let us know in the comments below, or in our lovely forums.