Number 7: Minority Report
How excited are you for Microsoft Kinect next month? Are you as excited as a bunch of middle-aged moms on Oprah? Probably not. However, you are probably super excited to be like your favorite futuristic crime fighter, John Anderton from Minority Report, right? If not — You won’t need Kinect to fill the shoes of Tom Cruises most badass character ever — in fact, you can just pick up Minority Report instead.
Minority Report delivers one of the most exciting, action-packed trailers we’ve seen to date (we’ve included it below). Not only does this game promise to be “exploding on all next-gen systems,” but it also promised to be so action filled it would blow your mind!
What was most troubling though was that unless you were looking for a game that included level after level of throwing people through windows — you weren’t going to get much else out of this title. Nearly the entire game was based around this objective and if you grew tired of it, don’t worry, you could just keep doing it some more!
Number 6: Spiderman 3
Spiderman 3 probably will always hold a place in my heart. It should be considered an instant classic for any gaming fan. Not only did Activision release a stellar teaser trailer that featured rich in-game models that would blow your mind, but the gameplay itself was so imaginative that it was hard to figure out whether you were playing a game or real life.
With that BS out of the way, I can tell you that Spiderman 3 is easily one of the worst movie-to-game adaptations ever created and anyone who purchased it, promptly sold it the next day. In fact, I’d like to see what the pre-owned figures were between Spiderman 3 the game and Spiderman 3 the movie on Blu-ray disc that came packaged with so many PlayStation 3s.
It almost felt like shortly after the console was released, you could walk into GameStop and see an entire shelf dedicated to this franchise — it was that bad. If you don’t believe me, I’ve included TWO videos below just so you can remember what you were probably missing.
Number 5: The Fifth Element
Back when Bruce Willis was making crazy good action flicks and Milla Jovovich was getting her debut before the milked Resident Evil franchise, gamers were still being subjected to shitty movie-based video games. Though you will be hard-pressed to find a worst game than The Fifth Element, we’ve managed to find four of them. But, before we get into that, we need to let you know exactly what you missed with this gem of a title.
If controlling Bruce Willis in Die Hard on the original PlayStation was amazing, you haven’t seen nothing yet. In The Fifth Element, you’ll be able to take cover behind large gray squares, pop out to shoot pellets at the bad guys and even jump from one platform to the other as though gravity does not exist for fractions of a second from time-to-time.
I know it’s going to be hard to believe that this game is as bad as it was, but the below tutorial set for the game is going to make you wish you had picked this bad boy up.
Number 4: Cliffhanger
Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were responsible for almost every high-powered action flick of the 80s and early 90s. Coincidentally enough, both of these beefcake gurus were also responsible for a very high percentage of terrible movie-to-game adaptations during that time period as well.
Despite that high percentage, only two games deserved to be on this list…Stallone’s Cliffhanger and Arnold’s Total Recall (#3). Much like at the box office, Arnold was able to slay Stallone in ranking even on a list like this. Though neither person was available for comment, we’re sure that The Expendable will one day be turned into a video game itself so that we can have a new #1 game on this list in the very near future.
Stallone’s Cliffhanger featured a title of multiple levels which all looked alike and a snowboarding sequence that not even Shaun White himself could handle…in fact, White would retire before attempting such a ridiculous stunt run! Check it out below!