Games you will never, ever Platinum

Ah, trophy whoring. While I’ve never obsessed over the fake-but-totally-real little awards packed into games enough to hunt down a copy of the Hannah Montana movie tie-in, I’ll definitely go after platinum trophies if they’re reasonably attainable. A couple of weeks ago I got the platinum trophies for Assassin’s Creed II and Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands, with the latter being the easiest of the five I’ve picked up.

There are a few other games I own that I’m on the cusp of getting the platinum for but have given up on. Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune only asks that I beat it on Crushing, but I couldn’t get halfway through without wanting to break something. For Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection, all I have to do is beat Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine. However, that would require me to get good at a game I hated as a kid and hate even more now. And as much as I love Red Dead Redemption, I don’t see myself putting another 20 or so hours into the multiplayer to reach the top rank.

However, those are all games that I could one day buckle down and do something about should I ever feel the need to. The games that follow are relentless and will do nothing but mock even the most steel-willed trophy hunter.

So if you plan on playing these games with the intention of getting that platinum, think again.

BioShock 2

This is the most recent game on this list, and also one that not many people played. It’s too bad, because it’s excellent. Not only that, but it hands out most of its trophies like candy. The single-player trophies just ask that you bunker down and beat the game on the hardest difficulty, and even the multiplayer trophies just require you to play all the maps and rank up.

However, that’s where the problem lies: no one plays the multiplayer, and with good reason – it’s tacked on, and you can absolutely tell. No one I know who enjoyed the original game asked for it, but there it is for dozens of people to enjoy. Even when I tried out the multiplayer during the first week the game was out I had trouble finding a match, taking anywhere between 2-10 minutes to find a game.

Buy this game, but not for the multiplayer. Or just buy it at all. C'mon, people!

Buy this game, but not for the multiplayer. Or just buy it at all. C'mon, people!

I suppose you and a handful of really, really determined friends could try to reach rank 40, but the rest of us in the game community will just move right the hell on, if you don’t mind.

Guitar Hero: Metallica / Van Halen / Smash Hits

The Guitar Hero franchise was a bit saturated last year, to say the very least. On top of the (excellent) Guitar Hero 5, there were THREE other GH games released on consoles. There were two key differences between GH5 and these three offshoots: 1) the offshoots were based on the capable but unspectacular World Tour engine to varying success and 2) the platinum for GH5 is attainable, while the others were goddamn impossible.

Readers Comments (3)

  1. Heh, I got GHM plat. I do agree with SH and VH being quite hard to plat though.

  2. GTAIV impossible no, time consuming yes.
    Ghostbusters impossible no, time consuming yes.

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