Games you will never, ever Platinum

Also like BioShock 2, however, the multiplayer is a ghost town. Maybe if you jumped straight into the MP when the game released – and really, who did? – you’d be able to get the “Overachiever” trophy ($2.5 million earned, 50 jobs, 30 post-job awards). But now, a year after the game released? Don’t hold your breath.

Street Fighter IV

At 23 years old, I’d say I’m still quite young. However, I’ve been playing games since I was about 5 or 6 on my brother’s SNES – just old enough to do some serious button mashing when SFII made its way out of arcades and into living rooms worldwide.

So when SFIV came out, it fit me like a glove. Not that I was ever any good at the game to begin with, but it was great that Street Fighter had become accessible to the masses again.

This thought process did not extend into the game’s trophy list. While Super SFIV’s trophies swayed back into the realm of human possibility, vanilla SFIV’s trophies were here to hand you your ass on a silver platter (how nice!). Beating the challenges on Hard was already enough to smash your TV over your head, but to get gold medals in all of them for the “Gold Standard”?

Even Seth thinks these trophies are cheap

Even Seth thinks these trophies are cheap

Unless you’re one of these guys, save your sanity.


I dare you to tolerate this ugly, broken dreck dressed as a game long enough to get more than a handful. The trophies are completely doable, but are you really so desperate for a platinum?

Not nearly as fun as it looks. Not even a little bit

Not nearly as fun as it looks. Not even a little bit

Don’t do it! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!

WipEout HD

Of all of the game franchises with misplaced capital letters in the title, WipEout has to be my favorite. Why wouldn’t it be? The games are always pretty to look at, play at breakneck speeds, and have kickass soundtracks to match. This PSN release was no different.

Almost pretty enough to keep you from sticking your head in the oven

Almost pretty enough to keep you from sticking your head in the oven

The game is also totally enjoyable without focusing on trophies (like the good ol’ days of, um, 2007). Once you start trying for them, though, you’re in for a hell of a time. Not necessarily a good one, as the gold trophies require you to be Jesus in a hovercraft, but a time nonetheless. “Elite Campaign Legend” asks that you obtain gold medals in every cell in the campaign on Elite difficulty. “Beat Zico” has you trying to beat one of the developer’s ridiculous lap times.

Believe you me, this game is much more fun if you just ignore the trophies and play it for what it is – badass future combat racing.

This obviously doesn’t list every impossible platinum in existence. If you can believe it, I’m just one man. What games have you given up hope for? Let us know in the comments below or in our forums.

Readers Comments (3)

  1. Heh, I got GHM plat. I do agree with SH and VH being quite hard to plat though.

  2. GTAIV impossible no, time consuming yes.
    Ghostbusters impossible no, time consuming yes.

Comments are closed.